恭敬让我赢得终生好友
Respect Earned Me a Friend for Life

文／菲律宾海天禅寺研经禅修班学员　传诺

　　我第一次看到「中台四箴行」时，觉得很简单、不复杂，通俗易懂。它讲的是，恭敬尊重、慈悲同理、合作协调，还有诚实不欺──这是在社会上做一个好人最基本的步骤。看起来很容易做到，至少我是这么认为；但事实上，说时容易做时难。

　　谈谈第一个「恭敬」。我在两个非常严格的祖母下成长，她们教会我要尊重比我年长的长者。但我却不知道也包含恭敬上司，及比自己知识渊博和经验丰富的人。而这就是造成我在工作上失败、一塌糊涂的原因。

　　女儿大学毕业开始工作后，我决定不在职场上继续拚命工作与人竞争了，决定做完这份工作就退休。但任职期间，我被调到另一个更高薪、更高职位的部门，而那正是我痛苦的开始。

　　有传言说，那位部门主管是个糊涂的人。与她共事一段时间后，我发现这个传言是有道理的。我变得骄傲自大，相信自己比上司好、比她聪明得多，甚至嘲笑她的错误，而不愿意给与任何帮助。我只做我该做的，并按照自己的方式工作。我很想辞职，但我非常热爱这个工作，到底该走还是该留下？我进退两难，像是身处于地狱之中。

　　后来，我学到恭敬的深层意涵，那时我才明白，原来是我的傲慢，让自己看不到上司的优点，于是我给自己一个机会去了解她的优点。她也许不是很聪明，但有一颗善良的心，这是我远远比不上她的。她有一副慈悲的心肠，非常愿意帮助朋友。从那时起，我变得很愿意与她共事，也尽我所能地帮助她，给她应有的尊重。经过一段时间后，我们变成了好朋友。虽然现在没有一起工作了，但仍保有这份友谊。正是恭敬，让我赢得了这位终生好友。

　　（When I first read The Four Tenets of Chung Tai, I found it really simple, uncomplicated, and easy to comprehend. It is about respect, empathy/compassion, cooperation/conformity, and the last, honesty—the very basic steps to becoming a good person and a good member of society. Seems easy enough to practice, or so I thought. Based on experience, it is easier said than done.

　　Let’s talk about the first Tenet—Respect! I grew up with two very strict grandmothers who taught me to always respect my elders, those who are older by age. But I did not know that respecting the elders includes those who are our superiors and those who have more knowledge and experience in life. And here is where I failed miserably at the workplace.

　　After my daughter finished college and started working, I decided that I no longer need to work like a dog and compete professionally. I told myself then that it would be my last job until I retire. In the middle of tenure, I was transferred to another department for a better pay and a better position. That’s when my suffering started.

　　Rumor has it that the head of the department is a confused person. After working with her for some time, I found that there was truth to the rumor. I became proud and arrogant, and I let myself believe that I was better than my boss and far more intelligent than her. I found myself laughing at her mistakes and unwilling to assist her in any way. I just did what was expected of me and worked on my own terms. I wanted to resign but I loved my job so much. Should I stay or should I go? I was in hell.

　　Then I learned the profound meaning of the first Tenet. I knew then that my arrogance prevented me from seeing the good in my superior. I then gave myself a chance to get to know her good qualities. She may not be very bright, but she has a good heart which is more than I can say about me. She is kind and very supportive. From then on, I became more cooperative and tried my best to assist her in whatever way I can. I gave her the respect she deserved. After a while, we became friends. And now that we no longer work together, we still remain friends. Respect earned me a friend for life.）