修行 開啟人生新視野
文╱美國中洲禪寺英文研經班學員 傳因

 

  修行學佛從各方面幫助了我,尤其是工作上的協助。最近,我去應徵貨物搬運工,選擇這份工作是因為需要錢,也考量到時間上的彈性,讓我可以在其他地方繼續找工作。

  起初,這份工作似乎超過負荷。這份工作不只極度地需要體能,同時非常緊繃,但卻缺乏應有的在職訓練,我必須從做中學習。好幾次,工作幾乎是不可能的任務,從午夜工作,直到凌晨,我發現自己也懷疑著:人生的此刻,為什麼會在如洞穴般的空間中,做著這樣的工作?

  修行,是讓我堅持下去最主要的助力。我開始提醒自己,是業力帶我到這裡,藉由精進用功、自我反省,終將通過人生的這一關。我開始將這份工作,視為個人成長的機會。當工作耗費體力時,便思惟透過這個費勁的工作,轉為鍛鍊色身的機會;如果工作要求嚴苛,就藉此反省個人生涯,並且思考著對我而言,在工作中什麼是最重要的?與其感到厭惡,我也開始懂得感恩:由於這些極需體力的工作,讓我有能力養家活口。

  若能專注當下,也是工作最順利的時候,我只要心無旁騖地觀照現前的需求。然而面對麻木、冷漠的同事,或是如雪崩、波濤般,來勢洶洶的各種形狀、尺寸以及重量的包裹,都是工作壓力的來源,也難以避免地造成剎那、剎那的情緒起伏;但是當我不再執著時,夜晚也不再感覺那麼漫長。依循著佛法修行的道理,讓我可以用堅定的心念,面對每個轉變。

  我開始了解到,正念能幫助我度過工作中艱困的轉變,同樣地,也可以應用在每個人生活中的每一刻。藉由禪修靜坐和聽經聞法,讓我對專注和覺性有更深的體會。

  修行,讓每天曲曲折折的悲歡人生,展開了新的視野。這五年來的修行,雖然仍有精進努力的空間,但我會繼續堅持下去,如同一朵含苞待放的花兒,需要水和關愛,必須天天照顧,以免因為疏忽而枯萎。但,這是一朵值得呵護的花朵,因為它的繽紛色彩與香氣的滋養,為我的人生帶來多彩和芬芳,並回復了生機。

  (My practice has helped in numerous ways, and one way in which it is helping currently is with work. Recently, I applied for a job as a package handler. I took the position both because I needed the money and because I thought it would provide schedule flexibility to continue looking for work elsewhere.

  At first, the job seemed overwhelming. Not only was the work exceedingly demanding physically, but it was very stressful and even the needed training was lacking. I had to learn by doing. At times, it seemed like an impossible task. Working from midnight until the wee hours of the morning, I found myself wondering why I was there, in that cavernous space, doing that job at this point in my life.

  The main thing that helps me persevere was my practice. I began reminding myself that my karma brought me to this place, and that by diligently applying myself and reflecting on my situation, I would eventually progress through this station in life. I started looking at the job as an opportunity to grow as a person. If the job was physically taxing, I would use the exertion as an opportunity to get in better physical shape. If the job duties were onerous, I used this chance to reflect on my career, and to think about what is the most important to me in terms of work. And rather than feel resentful, I also began to be thankful that through this most physically demanding of jobs, I was able to provide for my family.

  I have been most successful when I've immersed myself only the now—by diligently attending to the demands of the moment only. The nights feel less long when I refrain from attaching to the momentary emotions which inevitably arise in such stressful work, whether the source be insensitive or uncaring co-workers, or simply the demands created by what at times feels like an avalanche or tidal wave of packages of all shapes, sizes and weights bearing down on me constantly. It is adherence to what I've learned through my practice that allows me to face each shift with the necessary resolve.

  I've come to understand that the mindset that helps me get through difficult shifts at work is the same mindset that one can apply every moment throughout their day. Meditation and sutra study has helped me develop this more immersive sense of focus and awareness.

  My practice has given me perspective on the day-to-day vicissitudes of life—both the joys and the sorrows. My practice—now five years long and counting—remains a work in progress. Like a budding flower that needs water and attention, I have to attend to it daily lest it wilt from neglect. But it is a flower well worth preserving because of the beneficial colors and fragrances it has brought back to my life. )




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