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记得第一次和精舍的师兄弟们回山出坡时，被分发到机动组──负责垃圾分类的工作。当时的我一边垃圾分类，心也跟着打妄想，做得愈久，心跑得愈厉害，为什么我要做这种工作？我是一家公司的总裁，如果认识的人看到我怎么办？他们会怎么想？难道没有别的事可以做吗？唉！我的衣服都被弄脏了，什么时候可以休息？等一下吃什么……。 后来，有机会参加颇具挑战的精进禅七，在那一星期里，第一次感受到“心”的真实力量，而且发现我的心就像“猴子”一样心猿意马！之后，连续打了几次禅七，也开始在精舍上禅修课，学到了更多心的作用及如何专注在当下，并了解妄想与执着的影响力，例如，在精舍大寮帮师父切菜的时候，每当心一跑掉，马上就会切错。 在学佛过程中，对于“顶礼”有很长一段时间无法接受，因为在心里总有一股声音说着：我是Wouter，是总裁，为什么得双膝跪在地上？直到上了更多的禅修课程，并且学习到普贤十大愿后，慢慢地放下强烈的我执及对事的执着，尤其到中台大寮发心磨炼，更让我有机会学习如何在动静中以纯净的心迈向成佛之道。 有一次在中台大寮发心时，负责将食物从冷冻库中拿出来给师父。当我很开心将食物拿了出来，一一打开并在铁盘上摆放整齐，后来却又指导要再打包放回去。以前的我可能会非常不高兴，现在却认为打包放回去，或者拆开放在铁盘上，不过就是“一个动作”，如果不去分别是放回去或拿出来，有何不同呢？就是发心嘛！ 另一次是在家里洗架房，当时心有不甘地想着：我可以去做饭代替洗架房，但同时却领悟到都是手的动作而已，刷厕所和刷锅子有何不同呢？如果不起分别心，洗架房是肮脏，做饭、洗锅子是干净，两者不都要专心完成吗？当下欢喜地把架房清洗得一干二净。 最近精舍推动禅修班招生，跟着师兄到街上发传单，刚开始很不好意思，所以没发几张，可是看着师兄发得很好，而且很开心，开始告诉自己，分别什么？做就对了，很快地，我也做到笑容可掬地发着禅修班的招生传单呢！ 现在我已经吃全素，也努力的持守五戒，每天去精舍做早课，让心静下来，为一天的开始做准备，专注在每个当下。佛法改变了我吗？是的！学习佛法让我的心更清楚明白，也更轻快愉悦，愈来愈知道做自己心的主人。不断地练习，让我体悟到没有妄念的心，便是觉悟的心！ (I remember my first time going to Chung Tai Chan Monastery with the Dharma brothers from our meditation center to "help out," I was assigned to the “odd job team,” and my task was to sort garbage for recycling. When I was sorting through the garbage, my mind was also jumping around: Why am I assigned this dirty job—I'm the president of a company, what will people think when they see me doing this, is there not something else they can let me do, ah this stinks, all my clothes are getting dirty, when will it be break time, what will we eat later on? Soon afterwards, I had the opportunity to join another challenging practice, the intensive Chan-7 meditation retreat. During that week, I got some first hand experiences in confirming the power of the mind, and in discovering that restless "monkey" in my mind. Since then, I have participated in a few more Chan-7 retreats, and also started to attend the meditation classes in our center. I have learned more about how the mind functions, and how to be mindful in everything we do; moreover, I have realized the negative effects of our wandering thoughts and attachments. For example, when I was helping the shifu in the kitchen to cut vegetables, whenever my mind started to drift away from the task, I would immediately cut it wrong. During my learning journey, I have for a long time could not accept the practice of prostrations. There was always a voice in my mind saying: I'm Wouter, President of a company, why should I kneel on the ground like that? However, with taking more lessons and learning about the meaning behind the ten great vows of Samantabhadra Bodhisattva, I was able to gradually reduce this strong attachment to my ego. Volunteering in the Chung Tai kitchen has also given me the opportunity to train my mind, to learn to practice with a mind of purity, whether in action or stillness. Once while helping out in the Monastery’s kitchen, I happily took out a few hundred packages of food from the freezer, unpacked them from their plastic bags, and placed them neatly onto trays, then put the trays onto a trolley—only to be told later by a shifu that the food should be packaged and stored, so please put them back into their plastic bags! In earlier times, I certainly would have been bothered. But then, I simply thought: packing or unpacking is just an action involving muscular movements; if I do not label these tasks and think about my likes or dislikes, then what is the difference? Both acts would come from my wish to help. Another time, I had to clean the toilet in our house but found myself unwilling to start, thinking: Wouldn’t it be better to cook some food now than to clean the toilet? Meanwhile, I also realized: Scrubbing the toilet, or cooking and scrubbing the wok afterwards are all actions done by the hands. If I do not label one as a dirty job and the other as a pleasant job, what is the difference? Both tasks require my full attention to complete. With that reflection, I happily cleaned the toilet until it was as shiny and bright as a new one. Recently our meditation center was promoting meditation classes. I went with my Dharma brother to give out flyers on the street. In the beginning, I felt embarrassed and only gave out a few. Then when I saw how well and joyful my partner was giving away the flyers, I asked myself: Why am I labeling this task? Just do it. Pretty soon, I was able to hand out the flyers to the passersby—and with a smile on my face! Now, I am fully a vegetarian, and I am making efforts to uphold the Five Precepts. I go to our meditation center to attend morning service everyday. It calms my mind and gives my day a good start so that I can stay mindful every moment during the day. So did learning Buddhism change me? Yes, it certainly did. My mind is much clearer and lighter now, and I know more how to be the master of my own mind. I resolve to keep practicing in order to realize a mind without delusion, a mind of enlightenment.
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